Bail us out

October 7, 2008

George B recapitalises a bank

Filed under: bank bailout — Tags: , , , — stanleymilgram @ 11:25 pm

No-one knows what causes the run, the rich man “guarantees” everyone’s money if you give it over to him, and George ends up “re-capitalising” it with the money that was supposed to be for his honeymoon.

Any similarities to future events are purely coincidental

Recapitalise me, I will help the economy

Filed under: bank bailout, credit crunch — Tags: , , , , , — stanleymilgram @ 12:18 am

So there’s a financial crisis and the US government just handed over $700 billion to the people who created the mess. And it hasn’t worked.

You’re giving the money to the wrong people.These guys take home $300M, no wonder they’re not bothered. But the solution is here: Pay off the debts of everyone else.

Why? Follow these steps:

  • I’m in debt too!
  • Nobody gives me credit anymore.
  • I’m cutting down on my spending.
  • Consumer spending keeps the economy afloat
  • My debt is a lot less than the banks’ and I haven’t “leveraged” it against anything
  • Millions of other people in the UK are in the same boat
  • There’s no point guaranteeing our savings, you need to get us spending again

You see?

If the UK government and the Bank of England are going to keep handing over chunks of £40 billion in public funds to the banks because they don’t trust each other any more, then the least they can do is pass me £20,000 to get me economically active again, no?

OK, so it might cost the GRI a new dialysis machine, but the economy will be saved!

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